I LOVE DESSERT. Growing up, noone else in my family seemed to be quite the slave to sweets as I was and am, but I love me some dessert.
Disproportionate to my love of desserts is the frequency with which I serve it. Almost never, unless we have company. But as Dylan, my amazing baker-child can attest, baking up a batch of something on the fly is a very frequent occurrence at our house. But nothing lasts because, alas, I really blew this aspect of parenting.
I grew up in a house that was, let's say, scarce in the way of sweets. To cope, on a very regular basis I took one of two emergency measures: I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, or I went next door, to the Cronins. The Cronins, they of five kids to our six and three boys to our nil, had a very different pantry than that of chez Corey. And they had a VERY different cookie jar. Meaning, they had one.
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| Matt, Tami, Paul, Megan and Mark Cronin |
Where we might have a package of stoned wheat thins and Cheerios, the Cronins had lemon coolers, pepperidge farm cookies, pretzels, bugles and Dr Cronin's ever-present Andes mints in the freezer. I felt like Willy Wonka entering the chocolate factory every time I went in that kitchen, which was a lot. Self control was rarely exercised because I had (have?) none when it came to sweets. Occasionally I'd go to a friend's house and there would be a bowl of candy on a living room table. Just sitting there! Of course I'd find ways to dash in there and scarf down as many as possible, all the while marveling that my friend could live in a house with candy just laying about.
So I was determined not to create that forbidden fruit dynamic in my own house. I buy junk. I bake. Well, Dylan bakes now. And, occasionally, I'll put out a bowl of candy for the season. It lasts about thirty seconds.
I"m not sure where I went wrong, but wrong I went, and now I've just accepted it and moved on.
But I do have standards. Following up a delicious meal with a piece of cheesecake is akin to ordering a crisp glass of sauvignon blanc and being handed a buttery chardonnay. Dis-a-pointed. And life's too short. One must standards, even for dessert. These are mine:
NEVER
Pies of any kind. I don't care if it's your grandmother's original apple pie recipe. Too mushy. Period.
Flan/Custard/Creme Brûlée
Ditto. Doug and I lived in Mexico for six months many, many years ago and I can't tell you how many servings of flan I had to choke down. I've had great flan, I've had poor flan, I've had everything in between. I hate flan. Same goes for creme brûlée. I've heard a lot of, "oh but THIS creme brulee, it'll change your mind" over the years. No, it won't. It's disgusting.
Cheesecake
Why anyone ever thought that cheese and cake should go in the same phrase is a total and complete mystery. Cheese has NO PLACE in dessert!
Chocolate chip cookies
The best invention ever. My sisters will tell you what a special place these suckers have held in my life for, well, my whole life. Actually, let's let them tell you...
Ellie: We'd be watching a TV show in the den, then suddenly: "Commercial!", Jane would jump up and run into the kitchen, whip up a batch of batter, bake the cookies in a 350° oven for 9-11 minutes, then return to the den with warm, fragrant, spectacular cookies . . . before the commercials were even over. I know, right? Magic.
Ann: I just remember all of us being in the den watching tv or playing board games, then you would disappear for a while, next thing you hear pots and pans being banged around, then the smell of chocolate chip cookies.
Julie: I remember Glenda bragging on you because you'd come over to babysit and she'd come home to well-tended children and freshly baked cookies!
See? It's love.
Fudgy Brownies
My sister-in-law Sue Vasko's dump brownies may be my favorite. Gooey, chocolatey, delicious. (we use 4 not five eggs)
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| Peanut Butter Bars |
Blondies, seven-layer bars, pumpkin bars. Christy King's peanut butter bars Yum. Bars are good. The happy place between cookies and cake.
Crisps
Apple (recipe below), peach, rhubarb. That life-enhancing mix of oatmeal, butter, sugar & cinnamon all mixed in and baked up with some ripe fruit. Obviously, served with vanilla ice cream.
Cake
Dense or light, chocolatey or lemony, pound cake or angel food cake. I love cake.
GREY AREA
Tarts. Because they are mostly crust and fruit and very little goo, I do love a good tart. But they're a lot of work. So mostly I shun tarts.
Fruit Desserts - kind of a scary territory, because they often cross the gooey no-fly-zone. (Like lemon bars. In theory, they should be delicious. I love lemon, I love bars. But really, they are just a mess and coat your teeth and I just can't deal with lemon bars.) But Ina's stewed berries over ice cream? That is some gorgeous stuff.
So I blew the forbidden fruit thing with my kids and I love sweets. What's a girl to do?
My advice to my kids?
Consume plenty of these:
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| Shout out to Crossfit Shoreside |
And get plenty of this
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| Summer Berry Brownie Torte |
So you can always enjoy the likes of this
A few more favorites:
Chocolate Cavity Maker Cake
Magic Cookie Bars
Ina's Chocolate Brownie Pudding
Lemon Sprite Cake
Classic Chocolate Chip Cookies (does anyone actually need this recipe?)
Mix in a bowl: 2-1/4 cups flour, 1 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt
In large bowl mix well: 3/4 cup brown sugar, 3/4 cup sugar, 1 cup softened butter.
Add 2 eggs and 1 tsp vanilla and mix well.
Add the dry stuff into the other stuff. Add 1 pkg chocolate chips. Drop by tablespoon on cookie sheet.
Cook at 350 for about 10 min, depending on how big they are. let cool on rack 1 min, store in airtight container.
Corey family apple crisp
6 apples, peeled, cored and large-diced (macintosh, granny smith, macoun) - toss with tsp lemon jce
dump into a greased pie plate or shallow baking dish
mix together then add to the apples:
I totally agree with you on all your "Never" desserts!
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